Generalizing From Yourself

If there is one error that almost 100% of us make, it’s generalizing from ourselves. Stated as succinctly as I can, this means that we assume that others make decisions, are motivated by, have the same values, goals, and beliefs, and care about the same things we do. And if they don’t, they should.

Further, it makes no difference what those beliefs, values, goals, etc., are, the projection of these onto others infects us all. And when our expectations are thwarted? Anger, frustration, anxiety and depression may not be far behind.

Nor the fast, short-term, solace readily available in the bottle of your choice.


While we all do this, with maturity we may get better at recognizing it and compensating for it. But first we have to recognize that we still tend to do it and it leads to invalid assumptions.

Examples? At the very lowest levels of maturation, the con artists, predators, 13th Steppers, and others of their ilk actually believe that everyone lives in their Darwinian world of predators and prey. They cannot even conceive of any other basis for living. To them, everything is a scam.

Slightly higher up the developmental level, conformists, who make up the bulk of successful AA adherents, also believe that we’re all the same, that what works for them is what works, and that if the rest of us would just stop being “in denial” and “get with the program” everything would be great. Of course that also means that suggestions to the contrary threaten the bejesus out of them and they react very harshly.

Those who mature normally still have problems with assuming that everyone else agrees with them, or would if shown the error of their ways. Stereotypes still take the place of thinking and individuation. Women are still from Venus and men from Mars even though there really are more differences within the genders than between them.

All of this is by way of saying, since you, our readers, self-selected by virtue of having subscribed, and therefore more mature than average, still suffer from the confusion that this generalizing from ourselves creates. And many of us, frustrated beyond our carrying capacity, drink to get some respite from others’ immaturity, ignorance, intolerance, racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and a host of other maladies.

But alcohol isn’t the only relief available. And the other possibilities are a lot less destructive and a lot more fun.

Want to discuss those options? A free phone call will get you that.

How “Rehab” and AA are designed to brainwash you into the 12 Step cult.

The basis for residential treatment isn’t curing your “alcoholism” – it’s collecting your money and initiating you into the cult where you, and most everyone else, will continue to “relapse” and be in need of further, endless, treatment.

In order to understand this, it helps to consider old-fashioned military basic training. That model involved taking young, vulnerable, and terrified boys, isolating them, humiliating them, demeaning and exhausting them, and regressing them to acting at the level of a 3-year-old. That accomplished, they “raised” these now malleable boys to the Conformist level of 10-year-olds and froze them there.

Most rehab programs use the same model: isolation, degradation, humiliation, and initiation into the 12 Step cult which will keep them developmentally arrested for as long as they remain “in recovery.”

But that’s the rub. In the military, it was relatively easy to maintain isolation and endless indoctrination, in real life that’s hard to manage. That means endless meetings and staying away from “Normies” lest the brainwashing erode and people begin to outgrow AA, which doesn’t require much growth to accomplish.

The effects do linger and many people remain terrified of leaving AA for fear they will “relapse” and head down that supposed slippery slope. And of course if you believe this will happen it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s why we suggest that you ease out of the meeting by substituting other activities – doing real things with real people. Try the gym. Recreational outings. Classes. Anything that mixes you in with people who are living the kind of life you’d like to, pursuing activities that aren’t compatible with drinking, and where the Normies you associate with don’t know you’ve had problems with alcohol and you have a vested interest in the past never coming up.

Yes, you can recover from AA and add the Steps to that list of things you used to do but left behind. And you can quit counting up the days of not doing stuff.