Happy Fathers’s Day

As far as I can tell, Fathers’ Day is no big deal, unlike MOTHERS’ DAY!!!! Apparently the marketing possibilities are not as great? Regardless of the reason, let me wish all of you fathers a bit of recognition, especially those of you with “special circumstances” – adopted children, stepchildren, special needs children, as well as single fathers whoever you are.


These days I find myself feeling like a poorly managed yoyo – careening all over the place physically, emotionally, and medically. These conditions are related, of course, as my knee underwent its 4th reconstruction and I find my left leg encased in a cast from toes to hip for 12 weeks. If I thought a bad knee and Covid19 lockdown were tough – well, I had no idea.

Still, things could be worse – and at time have been.

The trick to getting through these times usually involves looking at the benefits rather than bewailing the costs. In my case that means I get to write more of the things I enjoy, avoid the gatherings I don’t like under any circumstances, catch up on long deferred details, and actually spend phone time with neglected friends.

This is a variation on what we frequently suggest clients do when you quit drinking: stated as, “what benefits do you get from your drinking and how are you going to replace them?”

Benefits? Yes, they are there or you wouldn’t be drinking too much.

For example: anxiety reduction; sleep aid; passive aggression towards family(s); time filler; and so on. If you want to quit/reduce medicating then you need to replace the benefits you currently enjoy: CBT for anxiety; assertiveness for passive-aggression; activity for depression; structure for yoyo-ing (a big one these days where we can’t count on jobs and schools to do it for us).

Since the next surge will soon be upon us, take the time to get the books you meant to read, write the letters (yes, real letters) to those old friends and family members, and rattle a few of the skeletons in your family’s closet.

Summed up? DO STUFF! Need an outline for that? Drop me an email and I’ll send ours along.

Short this week…

Recovery from surgery is taking longer than I anticipated – or maybe I just got older. At least I did know enough to blank out this week for R&R.

Hence I am wrapping up this edition.

Stay home, stay safe, stay healthy