Control, Influence, Acceptance, and Successful Behavior Change

Our February 14th issue addressed changing what we can, last week we wrote about influencing what we can, and this week we’re taking up the challenge of acceptance.

There are, of course, things we can’t change: our age, height, who are parents are, and who won the Super Bowl. Yet even with those things we have choices about how we feel about the things we can’t change.

In other areas we often use “pseudo-powerlessness” as an excuse for “accepting” things instead of changing them. This is popular with all of us who smoke, drink too much, are over weight, and have other health issues we like to pretend we can’t fix.
It is difficult to sort out what we can change, from what we don’t really want to change. And there are objectives where we don’t want to go through the process but still desperately want the end result. This is where it helps to have real short term help.

That’s where we come in, helping you:

  • sort out and prioritize what’s possible;
  • learn to manage your cravings and anxiety and other emotions;
  • structure your time;
  • create long term solutions to replace self-medication;
  • find support;educate spouses and/or other family members;
  • equalize personal relationships;
  • coach you through the first critical months;
  • and see to it that you leave alcohol abuse behind permanently!

Most of the behaviors that diminish our lives can be changed. The first of these is how you talk to yourself:

  • never say you are powerless, you aren’t;
  • never say you have to stop drinking, you don’t;
  • never say you can’t stop drinking, you can;
  • never label yourself an alcoholic unless becoming one is your goal.

Please, you can change, you can improve your life, you can leave alcohol abuse behind, and, finally, real help is available – the only help with alcohol abuse you will ever need.
Give us a call and let’s make this month the month you leave alcohol worries behind. Yes, you can!

Okay – the Holidays, the Super Bowl, Valentines Day, and the Olympics Are ALL OVER NOW!

So what upcoming event are you going to use now to avoid doing something about your drinking problem?

Yes, we all do it. We postpone making a significant change until after some holiday or event and when that time passes we find a new excuse to delay even longer.

Of course once you know you’re doing that, it becomes a matter of deciding what you want most and then acting on what will get you headed in the right direction.

It’s called moving from the “Contemplation Stage” – where you are now – to the “Action Stage” – which will get you where you want to be.

No, you don’t have to. About 30% of you will stay right where you are for the rest of your life – wondering what might have been.

Another 40% will eventually make the change. The key word here is “eventually”. But not until you’ve lost a lot of years and opportunities and probably created some health problems you could have avoided or reversed.

The rest of you? You’ll go back and forth, on and off, up and down until you’ve lost so much that you doubt it’s even worth trying to change.

We don’t know which outcome you’re going to choose – but you probably do. If you’re deferring your choice until “after the —“, or until someone else approves of you changing, or until it “feels” right, well, it probably isn’t going to happen.

On the other hand, if you decide it’s time to take care of yourself, rejuvenate your life, and to quit procrastinating, then it’s time to briefly clear your schedule and call us to schedule the short 5 days it takes to get started.

Odds and Ends

Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Sent My Brother Off To Rehab is Mary Ellen’s popular article on what she learned the hard way ten years ago about the treatment industry.

The Real “Steps” to Overcoming Alcohol Abuse – what ‘ll actually work for you and any other competent person.

Help For Couples – alcohol abuse exists withing the context of your relationship and ending it is most apt to happen when you’re both involved – which is why 99% of treatment programs exclude spouses!

Women and Alcohol
– What To Consider In Treatment and why women need and deserve services built around women’s needs, not just another recycled (and failed) men’s program – which is all anyone else has to offer.


And, as usual, whether you need to abstain or cut back, or discover what’s possible for you, we’re here to help.

For information, or just to talk, one of us answers the phone personally from 8:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m., unless we are with clients.

If we don’t answer, leave your name and number and one of us will usually be able to get back to you within an hour.