Generalizing From Yourself Again? One common error we all make is in thinking that other people make decisions the same way we do. Wrong. Even when the behaviors are the same, the reasoning – or lack thereof – differs enormously. Some of us, for example, control our behaviors based on a personal internalized system of [...]

You will be receiving this Newsletter the day Mary Ellen returns from a week in Iceland and I from a week of poking around coastal California. In preparing for some time off, Mary Ellen noted, “We are very blessed to have such a great practice with such interesting clients. I bet there are hardly any [...]

Competence: Instrumental, Emotional, and How That Affects Your Alcohol Abuse. Most of us, not just those who misuse alcohol, suffer from faulty ideas when it comes to concepts like maturity, intimacy, dependence, competence and other factors which affect our various relationships. As examples of common misconceptions we offer the following: Maturity is a matter of [...]

Sometimes, as Mary Ellen reminds me, these Newsletters can get a bit heavy. Thus duly, and deservedly, chastised, I thought I would start this one with a card we received from a west coast woman, followed by an e-mail from an east coast man, both former clients expressing their appreciation in somewhat differing ways: “Just [...]

About 2500 years ago, Socrates observed that "we become what we think about all day long." Without being in the least facetious, we have long noted that if you want to be an “alcoholic” the quickest and easiest way is to join AA. As Socrates would have most likely added, “endlessly refer to yourself as [...]

It’s not about not drinking… Most of us when we have a problem with alcohol or tobacco or weight or some other vexing problem usually decide that the only way to fix the problem is to stop drinking or smoking or eating the "wrong" things. Some of us actually do tough it out and this [...]

Unbalanced – What Lies Behind The Conditions You’re Medicating We often talk about alcohol abuse as a symptom of poorly managed anxiety, dysthymia, boredom, loneliness, and other personal issues. These respond well to CBT, motivational enhancement, diet, exercise, and assertiveness training, as do other personal conditions that you are medicating rather than addressing. Looking at [...]

Change, Not as Easy as Advertised in Malibu, Palm Desert, Center City, or most everywhere else… If you read the web page copy, or talk to the various intake “counselors,” you’ll get the impression that leaving your alcohol problems is as simple as writing a big check and sitting back and relaxing for 30, 60, [...]

Would you like to be the subject of the most interesting research project you’ve ever heard of? The one focused on you? That’s right – the research into you and why you abuse alcohol and what combination of tools will allow you to replace alcohol abuse with effective alternatives. Of course to do that you [...]

Procrastination, Motivation, and Congruency Procrastination haunts many of us in various aspects of our lives. Regardless of the area, "deciding not to decide" often prevents us from leaving our drinking problems behind. We all want the benefits we’d get from stopping the alcohol abuse, but we have some degree of fear and discomfort, too. Then [...]