It’s Not Magic! Nor Rocket Science…. Clients, and other readers, sometimes report that they often seem to be “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory." Welcome to the club. After weeks or months of reasonably steady progress, folks collapse into a binge or other replay of old drinking patterns. “Oh, god! I’ve relapsed!” they wail, falling back into AA mentality and mythology which has no basis in reality.

Testifying In Court – Why We (Almost) Never Do It. Recently I broke a cardinal rule and agreed to testify on behalf of a client. It was a mistake. Why? The problems begin with society’s ingrained belief that “AA works – and it’s the only thing that does.” That of course, leads into the cherished myths that “abstinence is the only acceptable or attainable outcome” and that one must have “sponsors” and be “in recovery forever.”

Biology explains why women can’t drink as much as men. Every now and again, we get a younger woman client who has gotten into trouble with alcohol because she has been drinking to keep up with the guys. She has tried to match them shot for shot. Then she blacked out. When we tell them that they really can’t do that, we are accused of being sexist or worse.

Is It Time to “Pull the Trigger”? As with any decision, most of us spend a lot of time in “Contemplation Hell.” And it doesn’t matter how distasteful or necessary or desirable the change is. Stop abusing alcohol, lose weight, exercise more, improve or escape a marriage or relationship, find a community, employment, landlord, roommate, or tenant. We all prefer the familiar, if miserable, to the unpredictability of change.

“But it’s a Disease!” We hear this all the time, of course, from people wishing to escape responsibility for their choice to abuse alcohol. But there isn’t any evidence to support the “disease model” so popular with AA and 12 Step rehabs. “But it changes your brain!”

We Get Letters - “Enjoyed the newsletter as always. I read it through such different eyes having met you both and working your program than I did in the two or three months before I did. I went through your program in June and over the summer started a "testimonial" about how well it worked for me. Then in the last month of caring for Dad your approach and support have been helpful in vastly different ways. The non-judgmental, thought-provoking phone sessions and newsletters helped me weather that extremely difficult period and a return to drinking without going off the deep end emotionally or with alcohol."

What we aren’t… Or, Aversives? – Not! The one item on the top 10 list of Ending Alcohol Abuse: What Works we don’t use are the so-called “aversives.” The best known example of these is done at Schick Shadel Hospital in Seattle and the process is pretty simple: load you up with nausea inducing ipecac and your drink of choice and keep you retching for 10 days.

It’s Called Credibility! Today I was talking with a woman who has been reading the Newsletters and visiting the website for six months or so. She’s looking for help for her husband who’s had a “problem” for over 20 years.

About Last Sunday….. As many of you saw when you attempted to follow links in last week’s Newsletter, all you found was an ominous black box with some incomprehensible notations. That problem actually started around 9:00 a.m. on Saturday morning and continued through early Sunday afternoon.

It’s Not Alcohol, It’s the Habit! - It’s interesting that ex-smokers don’t talk about being “in recovery” or being nicotine addicts. They talk about “kicking the habit” which is a far more accurate description of the process than drinkers – or “treatment” providers – use.