Should You Leave? This question frequently comes up in the course of the work we do, of course. While one might suppose that it's the client's spouse who's asking the question, it's more frequently the drinker who's actually wondering. How can that be? It turns out that it's common for a alcohol abuse to pr [...]

No, you're not dumb, diseased, or predestined... The big appeal of the disease model of alcohol abuse and alcoholism is that it absolves you from responsibility for your drinking problem. It's also a great excuse for not fixing it. It would seem that the alternative must be that you're just stupid to have let this [...]

There is an interesting follow-up to the New Perspectives conference we reported on last week. The conference was hosted by a Canadian residential program called Edgewood. At the conference they provided shuttle buses for any of us who wanted to tour their facility and program. Mary Ellen and I signed up for the tour, fully [...]

Once a year, frequently in September, Mary Ellen and I head off to a conference for a bit of R&R - a few quiet days to discuss the past year's events and a time to plan for the up-coming year. 2008 was no exception and we headed off to Vancouver Island and a conference on [...]

Sometimes others say things better than we can. We are, after all, a very small, effective, low profile, practice here in southern California. It's just Mary Ellen and me (and Scruffy), along with our consultants, Physician Tim Norcross, D.O. and Psychologist Deborah Silveria, Ph.D. Despite that, through a series of coincidences over the past 4 [...]

But what if you're not an "alcoholic"? Looking back over all of the clients we have seen over the years, one things we note is that most have not been alcohol dependent "alcoholics". Instead, most have been abusing alcohol as a symptom of other unresolved problems. Yet about 98% of treatment programs, especially those adhering [...]

Writing objectively about AA will always unleash a firestorm of outrage from the zealots who can't tolerate even the smallest dose of reality. That has, of course, been the case with Gabrielle Glaser's book, Her Best Kept Secret, and the following e-mail is a sample of 12 Step cult's irrational clamoring.   "As a long [...]

Self-Image? I often mention to clients that I found it fairly easy to quit smoking when I was in my 20s because I hadn't incorporated "smoker" as part of my self-image. I went back to smoking in my late 30s and quit again in my 50s. The second time was much harder because I had [...]

Sometimes we hit just the right note and a reader responds with their own confirming insights as did "M" from ------- with the following: "Cheers from -------!  I was with you several years ago during a short Thanksgiving week, and some of the things you said still ring in my ears.  I really enjoy your [...]

With all of the attention to Ms. Glaser's book, Her Best Kept Secret, it would be easy to forget that a third of our clients are men. And yes, we do encourage men to read the book - it has a lot of interesting history and perspectives that aren't gender specific. Remember, AA has been [...]