If I'm so smart, sensitive, and independent (see last week's Newsletter) why do I keep ending up with loser spouses, partners, friends, and lovers? Going back to your childhood, whatever you grew up with, no matter how nuts, abusive, dysfunctional, crazy, or otherwise distressing, is what you internalized as you very own personal "normal." Because [...]
Norman Rockwell didn't live there... We did not grow up with the Norman Rockwell magazine cover illustrations being reflected in our homes. Our less than idyllic upbringing may have included neglect, abuse, a lack of affection, instability, mental illness, molestation, or any number of other circumstances and/or conditions. Regardless of the specifics, the result was, [...]
"I really like the person I'm becoming!" That was the surprised comment by a client during a follow-up session last week. She'd been to see us for her 5 days of intensive work, followed our suggestions, kept her phone appointments and realized that she really did like the person who was emerging from the fog. [...]
Self-Awareness, Mindfulness, Paying Attention, your preference in terminology, but it all still comes down to the same thing. Whether we're exchanging bad habits for new ones, accommodating aging and the normal changes that life hands us, or adjusting to unexpected losses, gains, or just day-to-day ups and downs, it helps to pay attention. For example, [...]
Respite, PLEASE!!!! Alcohol abuse is frequently the result of exceeding our carrying capacity. When we do this long enough, we eventually need some respite and alcohol provides a degree of numbness, insulation, or oblivion that allows us to escape an unsustainable load. Alternatives? It depends on the nature of the overload. Is it personal? Professional? [...]
"Fitting in?" Really not a good place to go. For a lot of us, the loneliness that results from not "fitting in" is one of the conditions we ease through drinking. Over the years the majority of our clients haven't "fit" because we are simply too old for our age and our chronologic "peers." While [...]
Here's to a happy and healthy 2014.... Every year has it's ups and downs and we tend to forget that this is normal. So, too, the adventure of putting our misuse of alcohol behind us. Yes, the adventure - and, no, I'm not kidding. As Thoreau wrote, "Not until we are lost do we begin [...]
It has been a very eventful year, but no part of it has surpassed the effects of Gabrielle Glaser's work and her book. We asked her to write about her side of the experience and she has graciously provided us with the following... My name is Gabrielle Glaser, and I'm an author and journalist who [...]
Last week we began discussing a couple of the common "Recipes for creating alcohol abuse" that we see: #1: Take Conscientiousness and Add Passivity This week we move along to: #2: Take Precocious Maturity and Add Loneliness For over 30 years I have worked with Dr. Jane Loevinger's model and measure of adult development, [...]
Remember, please, that we don't abuse alcohol because we're dumb, weak, or diseased, we abuse it because it works - until it doesn't. For the next two weeks we'll look at a couple of the ways we often see this play out. Recipes for creating alcohol abuse: #1: Take Conscientiousness and Add Passivity Highly conscientious [...]