No one else works with couples because no one else can. It’s that simple. Yet “success” frequently depends on spouses working together to solve whatever conditions the drinker is self-medicating. It’s even more important when you’re both drinking. So what does working with us look like? First we work as a team – whether you [...]
That’s right – judges may no longer legally send you, or anyone else, to AA. Unhappily, a lot of judges, along with lawyers, haven’t gotten the message, or even more commonly, judges continue to order people to AA unless you object. Please note, all of these courts have ruled that Alcoholics Anonymous is a religion [...]
Yes, we work with couples. It doesn’t matter who has the alcohol problem, or who initiates the solution. Why? Because successfully ending alcohol abuse depends on changing your behaviors in your day-to-day life and that means altering your relationship with your spouse. Remember, alcohol abuse is a “context” problem – it exists to fill a [...]
Interventionists measure their success rate by the number of people they get to go into treatment. But that doesn’t mean that your family member (or you) stays in treatment. Even if they leave the day after they arrived, the interventionist counts it as a success. Most interventionists have financial relationships with a few favored treatment [...]
“Two things will be believed about any man whatsoever, and one is that he has taken to drink.” -Booth Tarkington It isn’t unusual for people to seek treatment for their alcohol abuse problems when divorce is looming on the horizon. Indeed, probably two thirds of our clients come to us with crumbling marriages. What is [...]
It is common for people who have remained sober for a year or two, to begin to wonder why they are continuing to attend various groups and meetings. It’s a good question. While some people may need, or prefer, to continue their participation, others can safely occupy themselves with other activities. The question is, which [...]
The “Bucket of Crabs” is one of our favorite analogies. Pulling crabs out of traps on Kodiak Island, we’d just toss them into a big bucket – no need to put a lid on the bucket. Why not? Because as soon as one crab would start to climb out, the other crabs would drag him, [...]
By Dr. Ed Wilson and Dr. Mary Ellen Barnes Most Of Us, Understandably, Deny Our Alcohol Problems People generally avoid looking too closely at their alcohol use. Over the long haul this can lead to problems, both real and mythical, that early and productive awareness might have helped avoid. The problem here is the mythology [...]
By Dr. Ed Wilson and Dr. Mary Ellen Barnes Adult Children Who Drag Their Parents Down With Them Nothing is sadder than the “over-age families” we see. These “children” are in their 30s, 40s, 50’s and sometimes 60s; their parents in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond. “Children” who won’t stop drinking or using, and [...]
Virtually all current treatment for men’s alcohol abuse and alcoholism is based on the generally ineffectual AA/12 Step model. Even when alternatives are offered they still tend to be based on a “disease” model which isn’t applicable for over 85% of the men looking for some sort of help with their alcohol abuse. The first [...]